Suck My Guac

Cate

Me and some guy I accidently married, but that was in Greece.

Me and some guy I accidently married, but that was in Greece. God, I can't believe how long I went without shaving. But it's Europe, right?

Hey everyone. I’m Cate. I’m from Bridgeport, Connecticut. I wanted to stay in Connecticut for school because I love the sun’s apricity during January afternoons, but I also wanted to go to a really, really, really, good school. And I did. Get it?

Anyway, one day I woke up in a fort entirely made of Jägermeister with two econ majors naked from the waste down, with only their pastel polos and 80’s style sunglasses to protect their dignity, and I thought, I need to need to get away from the east coast douche bags. Westward ho.

I landed a glamorous job working for a knitting public access show in Oakland – but more on that another time…

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