Suck My Guac

Guys, I’m sorry.

I’ve been legit busy.

I could rattle off a list of all the stuff I’ve been busy with (work, visitors, class, homework, applying for jobs, being drunk, work parties, pretending to apply to grad school, trying to finish books before they’re due back at the library), but I’d prefer to slip it into a paranthetical so that I can pretend I’m too busy to tell you exactly what I’ve been busy with.

But enough lingering in the past and rueing my abhorrent behavior.  There is a massive buildup of Guac (side note:  I’ve been thinking that Guac, like “God,” deserves a capital “G.”  Thoughts?) to be sucked.  In the back left quadrant of my brain, there is a little cabinet, and in the third drawer down, the one with the handle that’s half broken, I store all my potential SMG entries.  I walk down the street and see a man pooping, and I stick that image in the drawer; someone writes about me on Missed Connections, and I hustle back to my cabinet to store it for a later post.  This is all to say that, given that I haven’t post for 120932857934 years, I have a lot in my cabinet.

Sadly, I won’t be blogging about it all, because then I would fall behind on the things that are currently happening to me, and my life would become a futile attempt to empty an ever-overflowing imaginary cabinet drawer.  So I’m going to leave it to you, reader, to decide what topics will make the cut.  Please let me know what you want to read about, and I’ll write it.  The top two (or three, if I’m feeling saucy, or four, if I get laid off and/or stop having friends) topics will make the cut.  Vote early and often, because the sooner I have a significant amount of votes, the sooner I’ll declare the poll closed and get to writing.  Here are your candidates:

-Kate