Oh hello, reader, didn’t expect to see you here. *cough* *cough* Yes, I’m sorry about that, it’s become rather dusty in here every since Kate started doing whatever it is that she does while not attending to the manor that is Suck My Guac. I don’t know whose guac she is sucking, but I assure you reader it is not mine. If it happens to be you, reader, please send Kate back as we all miss her.
And, passive aggression gone. Very cleansing.
Well in the lag between posts that some of you have noticed, I’ve been looking back through time and reconnecting in a way only possible through the good book. Recently, my lower school has started to add all the class photos from the late 80’s onward. Well within the past week, we have arrived at my first, second, and third grade years in the early 90’s. Some of my fellow pastmates have gone through and tagged those of us whose existence we are still aware of.
I didn't think that everyone would want to be seen. so i made them superheroes. Except little ole me.
Well the few friends I held on to had a wealth of other connections. When I browsed the other people I was tagged alongside with, once again, like in year books past, I was stunned to see the before and afters. The main discovery (appropriate considering the discovery of the moon just 40 years ago, yesterday): the girls I was in first grade with have turned into women. Hot women. It’s a statistical anomaly.
I haven’t seen any of these girls since 2000. I crossed the country, went to New York City for high school. There wasn’t Facebook then. No way to stay in contact except through email and phone. Effortful to the point of impossibility. Then I came back to SoCal for college, stayed in LA, and low and behold, all these girls that I once new, stood next to, lined up with, teased, wrote notes to, they all still exist.
The long and short of this reader is that I’m reverting. Simultaneously moving out of my mother’s house this week while slingshotting myself backwards in time to let my young self in on a little secret – go for ‘em, any of them, it’ll all work out fine – is really drumming up some strange emotions. Thank god I have thousands of new friends’ pictures to go through. Which I will as soon as I post this as my new status. Where my new hot lower school friends* will see this strange Suck My Guac link and that will be what the next post is about inevitably.
- Jamie
* Greatings pedophiles, I see you found us by typing “hot
lower school friends” into Google. Sorry I can’t offer you more.
